FB Friends... Har friend zaroori hai yaar (Every friend is required)

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So now all of us are on FB. Well, yes, almost all of us, leave aside the underprivileged, the uninformed, the unwanted and the unwhatever. Most of us have a potpourri of friends from our various phases of life - school friends, college friends, colleagues, parents, children, in-laws, siblings, cousins, distant relatives, neighbors, spouse's friends' spouses, children's friends' parents, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends and then some complete strangers. When we receive a friend invite irrespective of who has sent it, it is considered rude to reject it or not accepting it for a long time so whether we like it or not, we end up adding everyone. While we might not be interacting with most of these 'friends' yet, consciously or sub-consciously, we get exposed to 'their' activities - status updates and photos & videos. A study of the entire melange of the varied personalities that I have as my FB friends, I have been able to group them into some interesting classifications.

  1. Preachers / Gurus : These friends post thought-of-the-day, famous quotes, excerpts and phrases, sometimes almost more than a dozen times in a day. These people have taken the responsibility of curing all their friends of bad habits and social evils. Most of these actually have subscribed to some daily thought-of-the-day website and they just copy-paste the same as their FB status. I am sure most of them don't even read these before posting. These friends are needed as they spread a lot of positivity.
  2. Achievers : These friends will only show up when they have something to boast about - A new car, foreign trip, media coverage, picture with a celebrity or anything that they feel will make others jealous. They will expect everyone to post congratulatory messages and feel offended if someone doesn't. These will vanish again till the time they have something else to tell the world. These friends are needed as they keep everyone else motivated.
  3. Reviewers : These friends will post reviews of latest movies and books. Some of them keep giving a real time account of the movie while they are watching it !! Apparently, these days social networking is deciding the fate of movies at the box office. But then like professional reviewers, even these friends have their biases like this friend who just hates Shahrukh Khan or the other one who just adores Aamir Khan. These friends are needed as they save you from the travails of sitting through a lousy movie as well saving some money and hours lost.
  4. Celebrities : These friends really believe they are celebrities and everyone else is interested to know what they are up to each second of their living life. So they will tell us when they are at a mall, boarding a flight, waiting for a train, gadgets they are using, clothes they are wearing and some unprintable trivia about their daily chores. Once someone posted "Nothing" and someone else "Blank". These friends are needed as they make you feel really busy.
  5. Gamers : These friends keep playing various games available on FB and since FB wants everyone else also to play as much to keep them on the site, you are continuously informed about which all games your gamer friends are playing. These friends will also repeatedly keep requesting you to 'be a farmer' or 'play the ball' or some such things. These friends are needed to remind you that it is okay to chill once in a while.
  6. Crusaders : Exploitation of labor in China, Corruption in India, Abondoned children, rasicm in the UK, Kapil Sibal's demand to censor Internet, Rahul Gandhi as PM... you name it and you will find friends who have take up on themselves to drive public agenda. These are very sensitive people and you should not take their posts lightly.These friends are needed to keep you abreast with the happenings around the world.
  7. Sharers : These friends will share pictures, videos, links and everthing else. You will be continuously bombarded with varied serious and frivolous stuff from these friends. These friends are needed to save you time to sift through the trillion videos on YouTube.
So which one of above is YOU?

Also, do share any other type of friend that you have noticed which I have not been able to identify till now kyunki har friend zaroori hai yaar...

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