Are You Successful? What about your children?
All of us wish to succeed. Doesn't matter which field we choose, be it medicine, business, entertainment, tourism, sports, law, administrative services or corporate. Irrespective of where we are from, Gangtok to Gandhidham or Kargil to Kollam. Nothing to do with the socio economic class, religion, caste, gender or region. In spite of physical differences, shortcomings or handicaps. We all just want to be successful.
Right from the formative years, we study hard, half of us would rise at unearthly hours while the other half would be getting to bed at that time, putting in 90-100 hours every week. Those of us who choose sports as the profession would invest similar number of hours on the field. Majority would be hopping from one tuition class to another interspersed with tennis, karate, dance and music classes while one is also expected to participate in quizzes, debates, Olympiads and extempores.
Great... Finally all the hard work pays off and we end up being a successful entrepreneur, a renowned scientist, a celebrated sports person, an illustrious writer, an eminent educationist, an acclaimed actor or a famous surgeon. Fame and money starts flowing in and we soak ourselves in the glory. As is said, nothing succeeds like success so we push ourselves even further and achieve even more. Sometimes we fail but since we had tasted success earlier, failure pushes us even harder and we keep going...
While we are at it, most of us get married and procreate. The family joins in the race with us and soon enough becomes yet another reason for us to push even further. The competition extends from your peers to include your spouse's friend's partners and your children's friends' parents.
Without realizing, soon enough one reaches the point of no return. While pursuing our own success we completely forget that our children invariably have become part of "our" dreams and they never had an opportunity to have dreams of their own. In most cases, the children just blindly follow the path their "successful" parent has treaded but majority fail as that was never "their" dream, it was never their passion or destiny. Yet, by the time we realize it is too late.
Sunil Gavaskar, one of the most successful Indian cricketer, started playing professional cricket in 1971. His son, Rohan, was born in 1976 at the time when Sunil had just established himself and had a lot to prove. After touching the pinnacle of highest number of test centuries and runs, when Sunil retired in 1987, Rohan was 12. Being Sunil Gavaskar's son itself would have given a high to Rohan who grew up with cricket all around him. I doubt if he or his parents would have even thought of any other profession for him. But did Rohan want it? Or did he even give it a thought that he should be looking at some other profession which "he" himself was passionate about? Maybe not and that would be the reason Rohan started playing domestic cricket at the age of 20. He even got a chance a few years later to represent India. He failed...
Jack Carter, son of US President Jimmy Carter, was born in 1947 when Jimmy was 23 years old. While Jimmy was working towards his dream of becoming the President, Jack struggled when he first entered college in 1965, bouncing around between number of colleges till in 1968 he enlisted into the US Navy only to be discharged in 1970 when caught smoking marijuana. Following into his Father's profession, he ran for senate in 2006 but lost.
There are numerous such examples... A fledgling acting carrier of Abhishek Bachchan, the son of the mega star of Bollywood, Amitabh Bachchan... Amit Kumar's singing career that never took off as people kept comparing him with his versatile and voice extraordinaire father Kishore Kumar... Anil Ambani's inability to hold on to the charisma of his father Dhirubhai Ambani... A not so successful football career of André Ayew, son of the legendary Pele... And many more...
This is not just limited to celebrities. Look around and you will see enough examples of the son/daughter following the footsteps of father/mother and failing miserably. Think about your next door successful doctor who made his children study medicine albeit after paying donation or the kirana store's son who follows the footsteps by opening up a self service retail store.
And yes, what about you? In the pursuit of your own dreams, are you neglecting those of your children? Or you also believe that the best path for her/him is the one that you walk on? Or "Hello... Never realized that my children wanted something else".
Maybe it is not too late...
Right from the formative years, we study hard, half of us would rise at unearthly hours while the other half would be getting to bed at that time, putting in 90-100 hours every week. Those of us who choose sports as the profession would invest similar number of hours on the field. Majority would be hopping from one tuition class to another interspersed with tennis, karate, dance and music classes while one is also expected to participate in quizzes, debates, Olympiads and extempores.
Great... Finally all the hard work pays off and we end up being a successful entrepreneur, a renowned scientist, a celebrated sports person, an illustrious writer, an eminent educationist, an acclaimed actor or a famous surgeon. Fame and money starts flowing in and we soak ourselves in the glory. As is said, nothing succeeds like success so we push ourselves even further and achieve even more. Sometimes we fail but since we had tasted success earlier, failure pushes us even harder and we keep going...
While we are at it, most of us get married and procreate. The family joins in the race with us and soon enough becomes yet another reason for us to push even further. The competition extends from your peers to include your spouse's friend's partners and your children's friends' parents.
Without realizing, soon enough one reaches the point of no return. While pursuing our own success we completely forget that our children invariably have become part of "our" dreams and they never had an opportunity to have dreams of their own. In most cases, the children just blindly follow the path their "successful" parent has treaded but majority fail as that was never "their" dream, it was never their passion or destiny. Yet, by the time we realize it is too late.
Sunil Gavaskar, one of the most successful Indian cricketer, started playing professional cricket in 1971. His son, Rohan, was born in 1976 at the time when Sunil had just established himself and had a lot to prove. After touching the pinnacle of highest number of test centuries and runs, when Sunil retired in 1987, Rohan was 12. Being Sunil Gavaskar's son itself would have given a high to Rohan who grew up with cricket all around him. I doubt if he or his parents would have even thought of any other profession for him. But did Rohan want it? Or did he even give it a thought that he should be looking at some other profession which "he" himself was passionate about? Maybe not and that would be the reason Rohan started playing domestic cricket at the age of 20. He even got a chance a few years later to represent India. He failed...
Jack Carter, son of US President Jimmy Carter, was born in 1947 when Jimmy was 23 years old. While Jimmy was working towards his dream of becoming the President, Jack struggled when he first entered college in 1965, bouncing around between number of colleges till in 1968 he enlisted into the US Navy only to be discharged in 1970 when caught smoking marijuana. Following into his Father's profession, he ran for senate in 2006 but lost.
There are numerous such examples... A fledgling acting carrier of Abhishek Bachchan, the son of the mega star of Bollywood, Amitabh Bachchan... Amit Kumar's singing career that never took off as people kept comparing him with his versatile and voice extraordinaire father Kishore Kumar... Anil Ambani's inability to hold on to the charisma of his father Dhirubhai Ambani... A not so successful football career of André Ayew, son of the legendary Pele... And many more...
This is not just limited to celebrities. Look around and you will see enough examples of the son/daughter following the footsteps of father/mother and failing miserably. Think about your next door successful doctor who made his children study medicine albeit after paying donation or the kirana store's son who follows the footsteps by opening up a self service retail store.
And yes, what about you? In the pursuit of your own dreams, are you neglecting those of your children? Or you also believe that the best path for her/him is the one that you walk on? Or "Hello... Never realized that my children wanted something else".
Maybe it is not too late...
I believe until you have a spiritual guidance (knowing the purpose of your life!) Inculcated with all the members of the family the 'cat and rat race' will not stop.
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